C'est la vie

I'm an outcast. The whole world hates me. I hate everyone more. I love isolation. I can't breathe when I'm sandwiched in between people. I dislike how people think or what they do. I'm actually hurt to know that people dislike me. There is no sincerity in this world. Everything is made up of lies.

Fine fine , I lied. I'm actually enjoying my life to the fullest currently. Yes I was an outcast during primary school, but I became a different person in secondary school. That change practically spiced up my life. Looking back in 2009, I remembered the first day I entered secondary school. It was crowded with familiar faces and also strangers whom I never thought I'll be friends with. I couldn't contain the excitement in me as I took my first step into the school compound. The craving for new adventures in me was instantly sparked, alive. At that moment, I told myself that I'm gonna change , and I made it. I convinced myself to be more confident , friendly and optimistic. I managed to get out of my comfort zone, finally. As expected , my primary friends didn't even greet or look at me, as if I was some scum. It's okay , I can survive without them.

Five freaking years. I actually made it through high school by making brand new friends , talking to people whom I once hate, becoming a chatterbox, making people laugh and sharing sweet yet bitter moments with everyone else. I'm not individualistic anymore. I slowly adapted myself to the word ' we ' . There is no more 'I' . Honestly speaking, high school has its ups and downs which are supposed to be challenges for me to overcome. It revealed to me that there are actually nice people available and of course, I learned how to differentiate . Not differentiation in add maths , but differentiation in the many types of people. From selfish to selfless, from honest to cunning , from friendly to hostile, from introverts to extroverts, from real to fake , etc.

No matter how much I hate the school authority, deep down in my heart , I'm sure I'll miss the times I had in school, my friends , my teachers, the canteen food , the ICT lab and everything else except for the fact that they always ask us to pay money LOL. As for my friends , I really don't know what to express about them. They may be nice or nasty at times, but they literally shaped me into who I am today. I've always wondered if they'll miss me after we leave school. I really hope that we can stick together for the rest of our lives. People do change , but not much right ? =D After 10 years, 20 years, 30 years or more, will we have the chance to meet again? Will you guys be better , worse or the same? I wish that my friends could be still the same or better *fingers crossed* I wanna be their bridesmaid in their weddings, if there's any chance they still remember me. Wait, I'm pretty sure we'll remember each other. We're not only friends , we're like sisters. I appreciated how my friends managed to cheer me up when I'm down, join me to do something stupid , get into stupid arguments together and laugh it off later, and also taught me a valuable lesson : YOU FUCKING NEED COOL FRIENDS LIKE THEM LOLOLOL.

I...I don't feel like leaving school. It's just to fast for me. Why can't I remain a child forever? I accept the fact that everyone has to grow up one day , but definitely not my immaturity. Yes I'm a childish person who are friends with a bunch of cray cray childish people. You've got a problem? I bet many are jealous of the bond my friends and I share X) Time just has to fly like rocket. In a blink of an eye , I will be 60 haha... I'm trying to imagine my friends acting stupid at that age X)

And for my teachers, both primary and secondary, I would like to say thank you from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for being patient with me when I asked weird questions. Relevant to that, I still remember how my class teacher complained to my mom about me asking too many questions during Year 1. Well teacher, your job is to give me a long-winded explanation for each of my odd inquiry. No choice, I'm curious in nature.

I guess this post has the potential to be a letter , to everyone. SPM is a week and a few days away *shrieks* To be honest , I'm only 80% prepared , yet the principle is having high expectations in me. The burden.10 A+. I can actually kill for the sake of that result. LOL  no guarantee. The higher the expectation, the higher the disappointment. I'll just give my best.

Goodbye school , goodbye teachers , goodbye friends. C'est la vie.

 

More pics of grad night

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



Fernanda :)

Le annoying Cheryl :D

With Cheryl and Swi Kei

 

With Fernanda and Rachael

 

 

 

 

Graduation Night

 

Look of the night :)

Yesterday was Grad Night , the night that marks my last year to be in high school. Overall it was okay , except for the food. I believe what I ate was rubbish. The starter, mushroom soup was salty as fuck. The main course , black pepper chicken chop had too much pepper. Macaroni ? They didn't even serve me that -.- Dessert ? A piece of honeydew per person. I paid freaking RM135 for this event , and that was what I got. Really disappointed with the teacher in charge. Why not Kensington? It's our money , not yours so you don't actually get to decide okay?!

Never mind , I had fun with my friends. Throughout the night , we were busy taking pictures with phones and cameras haha X) All of them look so pretty :o I looked plain standing near them. It's okay , I accept the fact that I'm plain. My classmate , Nisha won the ' Best Dressed' award. I'm really glad she won , 'cos her outfit costs RM2000 ! Wow o.o  It's very sparkly anyway. Meanwhile , Shara wore a kimono ^^ kawaii haha <3

Before the event ended , we managed to take pictures with David =D 'Monkeys of 5 Omega with the great Mr David ' LOL WE EVEN MADE HIM DO THE DUCKFACE OMG HAHAHAHAHA

*flashback*

Mum helped me out with the make-up , and my eyes fcking hurt thanks to the contact lens. It's been a while since I wore them , no wonder my eyes were so uncomfortable. My Dorothy Perkins dress wasn't allowed so I wore a maxi dress which I thought it looks like a night dress .____. And I freaking looked like a patient with the cardigan. What's their problem with bare shoulders? It's not like my shoulders are obscene or something -.- Footwear? A pair of blue wedges I bought from CR2. It kinda hurt when I walked in them. I'm never good with heels =.= God , I walked in a very awkward way. Never mind.

A big congratulations to Rahinee for winning the ' Pelajar Mithali ' ( for students with good discipline ) award and also Cheryl for winning idk what award but it's for students who excel in academics , co-curricular activities, leadership and discipline . Justin should have been there LOL.

Photos !





Big family of 5 Omega <3 with Mr David
 

With Hui Shan



Them derps

Rachael is hawt man <3 (second from the right)



Mama Rachel <3



Derps of 5 Omega making duckface with Mr David X)

Yay :D

Guess what? The video we submitted for Liga Remaja Kreatif Video Competition won the third place ! It was so unexpected.. I still remember how teacher told us that our video managed to be shortlisted in the top ten a few weeks back. Well, my team members and I actually aimed for only consolation prize since it's our first video and we didn't actually expect to win anything. I told Hui Shan not to have too high hopes just in case we'll be let down if our expectations are not met. Fall hard on the ground instead of falling among the stars.

The award ceremony was held in Cyberjaya so we had to travel with our teacher and the senior assistant in his Innova. Yen Shin did not turn up 'cos her dad wouldn't allow so we had Malar to replace her. Once we reached there, we saw many students in attires that make them look smart and professional. We wore prefect attires so I guess we looked cool too. And one more thing : the slipper made me wear court shoes like wtf? My feet hurt like hell since I'm not used to heels .___. Why can't I wear normal canvas shoes? -.-

Back to the ceremony. The place was nice and the air-cond was cold enough. When they started announcing consolation prize winners , I felt my heart thumping really quickly. Alas, our team was not called to receive the consolation prize which comprised RM500. We started to panic and wondered if we actually won anything. Who knew , they played the videos of the top three winners, and our video was one of them =D Yayyers !

As second runner-up, each of us received a Canon digital camera and RM2000 to be divided among ourselves. Our teacher actually implied that we should give her some money -.- how straight forward.
Here are some pictures :

 

 

 

Counting Down

About 22 or 23 days to go. I'm not really good at counting days, that's why I'm not so sure LOL.
I really have no idea what I've been doing these days. Can't really consider it as studying. I don't feel a single thing. As if I should just play cool with SPM. What if I'm more than ready but I don't realize it ?:D Hope so. SPM doesn't really determine my future. No wonder they say life is not about straight A's. You see, I'm actually aiming for straight A+'s for the sake of scholarships. One can't really get a career straight away with SPM cert. I need to go through tertiary education which rakes in lots of money from people .

I wish the fighting spirit in me still exists. I'm in jittery 'cos of my numb feelings towards the coming exam. Sitting back , like a boss B) Shit.

For the previous weekends , I've been studying at Jing Si Book & Café. The environment there is conducive and serene . It's really really quiet. People there comprises students like me , rushing through their revisions. Nobody actually dares to make a sound LOL. They only whisper. Apparently, each customer is entitled to order at least a drink if he or she wants to stay there till midnight. And yeah, the air-cond there is freaking cold.

I can actually concentrate on my studies there compared to my own study room. There's less distraction, unless your friends are there. -___- We'll always end up talking nonsense , in careful whispers HAHAHAHAHA.

Since I'm free tomorrow, guess I'm going there again....This is how boredom starts to strike when you visit the same place subsequently LOL.

Judgmental people

" Why are your eyes so small? "
" Why is your feet so big? "
" Why are you so hairy? "
" I think it looks ugly on you. "
" I wanna be a porcelain doll , just like Barbie. "

' Nobody's perfect ' is a very common statement to make people realize that no one can be like Barbie dolls , unless you have plastic surgery.

Judgmental people really get on my nerves. Can't they just shut up and make life better for a day? You don't have the rights to decide whether a person is beautiful or ugly , 'cos you're not really pretty either. Urrgh. Let me answer the above questions. Why are her eyes small? 'Cos she's an Asian and it's genetic. You trying to say that her parents are ugly? Dude, your eyes are small too. Why is her feet big? She needs a big surface area to support her abnormal height. Please go study Science. Why is she hairy? She's a human, a homo sapien . I get that you don't have hair on your skin, 'cos you're made of plastic anyway. Why it looks ugly on her? That compliment is much appreciated. It looks uglier on you anyway. You wanna be like Barbie? Shut up and go for plastic surgery in Korea.

I seriously don't know when can those judgmental people stop giving ridiculous comments about people. Trust me, most of the judgmental people are highly flawed and they look nothing near perfection. They are almost the opposite of beautiful.

Kind-hearted people are the most beautiful creatures on Earth. No point being beautiful on the outside when you're actually a mean bitch inside, always finding opportunities to lower people's self-esteem. How sadistic. You know why people are judgmental? Jealously. They envy their victims a lot and to make themselves feel better , they judge like mad. You wanna feel better? Do something that benefits you and everyone else. It would be so much better than those empty talks (:

Please lick my shoes instead.

Cowardice

" Why didn't she tell us earlier? " * gives a cold glare *

" I'm really not happy about her." * rolls eyes *

 

This , is a common scenario that takes place when people are not happy with you. If you are aware, you know they're talking at your back. If you don't , it's obvious that they are whispering at your back. I guarantee, most of the time you will be unaware of people's dissatisfaction towards you. Why? Because they do not tell you. They expect you to realize that by hinting you with dirty looks . Really dirty looks that can crumple up your heart. To make you feel sorry, of course.

 

What amuses me is why these people do not want to voice out their dissatisfaction straight away? The people whom you're angry at may be stupid to not get the little hints you give. This is a democratic era so I believe there is always a space for everyone to express their thoughts. However, there're these certain people who prefer to have little talks instead of confronting the person who offended them. They are labeled as 'cowards'. Instead of making those stupid ugly faces, wouldn't it be better to solve the problem on spot? When asked, these cowards will just keep quiet and pretend nothing has happened. -.-

 

I don't find anything cool about making a person's life miserable by doing those unnecessary little actions. Only sore losers do that.

 

Can one be killed for many times?

Good question. I hope I can go on killing spree as frequent as I can , just like in the gaming world. Too bad , I'm just too nice. It kinda sucks that we have to deal with many types of human beings whom I consider not really human beings. Can call them animals ahh? Nope, animals are so much nicer. I just don't get why certain people continue to pretend nothing's going on when it's so obvious that they did something unpleasant, indirectly. These are what I really hate : fakes, hypocrites, accusers , liars and traitors , especially. I don't mean that I don't have these characters in me but even if I do, I mean no harm. For example, telling white lies and pretend to be innocent for the sake of covering up myself and everyone else. Oh wow, I'm an angel in disguise. Bullshit. How many can actually feel your sincerity or appreciate your deeds?

I fucking hate filthy bitches. Not those who sleep around with every guy in town , but those whom I think their attitudes and behaviors pollute my eyes. Sorry to be harsh , but fuck you. Especially fake Barbies. Sometimes it makes me wonder whether I'm a threat or not. It's okay if you don't wanna help me out. I know I have the ability to threaten and "kill" you. But thanks to these " I don't know what should I call them " , I know how awesome I am. I don't give a shit yo.

Humans are selfish. However , certain people are beyond selfish. They're desperate to tumble you down. If it happens to be your own friends, giving them cold shoulders would be a highly recommended option. They are not even worth your attention. Even dogs can do better. My apologies for comparing these people with dogs but hey , it makes so much sense.

"Funny how it's okay for you to help a person, but it's not okay when you need help from the person."