Home is always the best as I get to see my parents , my annoying sister and my dogs. I tend to appreciate their presence more since I don't get to see them often , thanks to college. I never knew an icy person like me can actually be homesick , not until I'm away from home to further my studies. I start to appreciate the simple , little things in life. Back to the days when I was still in Seremban and nowhere further , I only saw my hometown as a tiny , outdated place that lacks entertainment. Now , it appears to me that Seremban is actually a relatively beautiful , peaceful town I call home , well after months of staying in KL without my family.

As for my friends , I don't miss them as much as I initially did. This doesn't mean that I will forget them as a part of my life - it's just that I came to accept the fact that time is tearing us apart and each of us is busy with our own lives respectively. I used to be super excited when there were outings even though we meet one another in school every day. Now , I don't really feel the excitement anymore , to be honest. Perhaps it's a part of growing up and this voice in your head is always whispering , "people come and go in your life" . I don't know. Not anymore.

I do keep in touch with them , via social media , but we aren't as close as we used to be. I keep myself updated with their current infos ( especially their relationship statuses X) ) by scrolling through their profiles and having short conversations with them once in a while. That's the best I can do. It's not like I feel obliged to do it or anything , but it's because I still care. Yesterday , Rachel asked me out for a short hangout . I initially rejected , but finally succumbed to her T.T It was great meeting her since we seldom see each other in college. As for the guys , it felt like I hadn't seen them for decades , although the last time I met them was during last year's CNY. It was awkward , really , since I had nothing much to say. I could barely recognise them tho o.o I was pretty sure they didn't notice my presence as I kept quiet and left early lol.

This morning , I was kinda surprised that one of the guys actually tagged me in a status about last night o.o I thought I was invisible ? lol

Anyhow , I find it a little difficult to even start a small talk with my Seremban friends. We have our own perspectives and thoughts - connection lost. When it comes to reminiscing the silly things we used to do back in high school , I have to admit it was fun. Laughing at ourselves and thinking , " why were we so dumb back then ? " Ahh memories :')

Sunday

I'm not in the right mood lately.

I don't feel like talking , laughing or doing what i'm supposed to do.

I just wanna be left alone in my small confined space, where there is no one but me. It's odd to say this but I enjoy being alone more than everybody else.
.
I have nothing much to write about.
..
Nothing happened.
...
I feel lethargic , physically and mentally.
....
It's not PMS .
.....
It feels like something is bothering me inside.
......
I'm clueless.
.......
I'm fine.
........
No , I'm not.
.........
Just leave me aside and let me rot alone.
..........
I just wasted fifteen minutes of my life typing this.
...........
It's not even funny.

Silence has conquered me.

A friend once said I'm not an open book. Guess she's right. 

I don't even know what I want.