Fret

Growing up as an ordinary human being in an ordinary human in a small town , I've always wondered why people like to worry a lot about problems that don't seem to be significant to me. People can just wail about their fashion disasters , cry over heartbreaks , fret when they couldn't get tickets to watch their idols' performances and etc.

To be honest , I don't give a damm about these matters. Yes , I have not experienced these over-exaggerated problems and I have no right to question or to mock anyone about their priorities . One question , have they experienced something worse like death ?

The reason why I don't see their problems as a big deal because I myself had gone through hardships, despite being barely 19. To be more precise , I am facing a life obstacle right now. No , it's not death , it's just something that struck me all of a sudden.

Surprise , surprise.

I wouldn't reveal what happened because it's something personal and related to my family. It's pretty critical , and I'm currently in
the darkest period of my life. Put academics aside , I now have another issue to worry about .

As an odd person whose tear ducts are inactive , I actually broke down. I was at the verge of breaking down the past few days with the pressure I'm getting from my upcoming examination and with this sudden outbreak , I now have the reason to cry like a normal girl. 15 minutes later , I decided to pretend nothing's going on. That's how I taught myself to be strong with the difficulty still lingering around.

When times are hard , one doesn't simply give up. I'm now contemplating whether to do so , but no one can really lift me off the ground except for myself. The amount of responsibilities I have to bear at the age of almost 19 , are comparable to the amount of fun people of the same age are having. Tell me , how can I not be weird?

If you make a big deal out of petty issues like relationships at a young age, inability to buy the latest brands , betrayal by unworthy friends , failure to get A's in all subjects - just pause. Look around you , there is something better to be worried about. Global issues like poverty , injustice , discrimination , human rights , education need attention from everyone. Your dearest family and your closest friends require you to be concerned about them. Do not waste your time and effort to fret over something that might not even play a significant role in your life. If you feel like leaving your past , abandon it because there is a reason why it's called the past. Most importantly , spend some quality time alone. It's the best way to fathom yourself and give yourself a peace of mind.

Fret no more because what I'm going through could be worse off.

People might just perceive it's because of A Level. Whatever. 

I hope things will get better. 

Kthnxbai.

I wish I have someone to talk to right now.

Post-mock .

Mock examinations just ended on Wednesday with Physics , and this calls for a celebration. Not. 

The Physics paper itself is an April Fool's joke. It literally trolled everyone on the big day itself. 

This shall not be mentioned anymore. 

Right after mock exams ended , I hung out with my classmates. This outing was planned prior to mock exams , and I'm pretty sure many looked forward to this. Well , I mean some since only half the class joined in for lunch at Nando's and a few of us stayed for a 6-hour karaoke session after that. It's been nine months and I must say that my class took quite a long time to bond compared to other classes , and usually not everyone is involved yet. But hey , better late than never ! My relationship with most of my classmates are getting better and better although I still find it difficult to start a small talk with some of them. No matter how much I detest college , I kinda enjoy the company of my classmates. Yeah , this may sound like a contradiction to my previous post about distancing myself from people , but I realised that spending time alone may not be fun at all. I still need someone to talk to , to laugh with , to smile at , etc. Initially , I did distance myself from people around me. I found serenity , peace - but something just had to be missing. Contradictory to my beliefs , I don't actually enjoy going solo. I yearn for attention , for company. That's creepy yo.

The post-mock celebration is one of my happiest days(countable) in college besides the midnight 'truth or dare' session we had during Shi Qi's birthday. Never knew my dull college life could be so colourful. (at certain times.) 

Midnight birthday celebration and 'truth or dare' session 

Post-mock @ Nando's 

With the uncles @ Red Box Karaoke

The end of mock exams marks the beginning of my holidays . Yay ! However , I'm only returning tomorrow since I have to attend a TED talk next morning -.- Trust me , post-mock days can be super boring with only one or two people in my unit, unless I have plans. I've been longing for time to pass by faster since yesterday. Heck yes I can finally return to Seremban tomorrow ! 

As for today , a few of my classmates and I had lunch with Miss Amy (my maths lecturer) at Brotzeit German Bar and Restaurant. The food is irresistibly mouth-watering despite being costly for poor college students like me /.\ Mei Yan and I ordered a set of pork cutlet *slurpp* 

The beauty of food photography | Pork cutlet @ Brotzeit 

ps : Thank you Miss Amy for the treat ! We should've ordered more :p 

By the way , my IELTS results was released at 9.00 a.m. today. I actually did better than what I expected , so there's no need for a retake. The exam fees increased by RM20 fyi. 

I was kinda paranoid that I wouldn't do well since I prepared in less than a week's time when other candidates took 2 months . I shouldn't be - it's just a proficiency test. What's wrong with me ? -.- 

Anyhow , I'm still glad that I could obtain at least a Band 7 for each section as required by the degree course I'm applying for. I need to have more faith in myself. I shall now proceed to LNAT with IELTS settled. 

This sums up my post-mock days in college. HAHA. 

kthnxbai.